Believe: The Complete Channie Series Read online

  He was generating every bit as much lust as she was. Why was he fighting her?

  He said, “Let’s just cuddle...okay?” and loosened his grip enough for her to slide her hands up his forearms.

  Cuddle first. Get him on the bed. Then rip his clothes off. “Okay.”

  Channie took a backwards step towards her bed.

  Josh followed. His chest rose and fell faster with each shallow breath.

  Channie’s heart skipped a beat. She tightened her grip on his arms and took another step back.

  He froze.

  She tugged a little more insistently—then a lot more insistently. He was as immovable as a mountain. Fine. If he wouldn’t come to her, she would go to him.

  He grabbed her shoulders and held her at arms length. “Channie. Slow down.”

  Tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. “I thought you loved me.”

  “I do. That’s why I’m stopping this.” Josh was still generating plenty of lust, but now it was tempered by compassion. He pulled Channie against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”

  Guilt twisted Channie’s stomach, but her need for Josh overpowered it. Besides, he needed her too. He was only resisting out of some misguided sense of duty to her.

  Josh ran his hands lightly over the back of her sweatshirt. She knew he was only trying to comfort her, but his touch left behind a trail of fire. Chastity’s magic pulsed from Channie’s body like blood from a severed artery. Josh’s shield soaked it up and glowed red, converting Chastity’s energy into his own seductive magic.

  Fever-hot and suffocating, Channie arched her back and lifted her chin to get a breath of air.

  Josh’s lust resurfaced—more intense than ever.

  His breath, hot and sweet on her cheek, sent a delicious tingle over Channie’s skin. She felt his agony as he teetered on a razor’s edge of indecision.

  All he needed was a little push. Channie wiggled out of his arms and grabbed the hem of her sweatshirt, but before she could peel it off over her head, Josh grabbed her wrists again. Damn it to hell and back, this was getting old.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I already told you. I want you to make love to me.”

  “No. You. Don’t.” He released her from his embrace and stepped back. “It’s just magic making you feel this way.”

  “You want me, too. I can feel it. Why are you being so stubborn?”

  “I promised I wouldn’t take advantage of you.”

  “I release you from your promise.”

  “No.”

  “Please, Josh. I’m begging you. I want you so much it hurts.”

  Josh pointed at the bed but it was obvious he had no intention of joining her there. “Just sit down for a second and give us both a chance to cool off. I’ll open the window.”

  He pushed the window open with so much force it rattled the glass. The sound of drunken laughter echoed through Heritage Park next door.

  Since Channie’s awkward attempts at seduction had failed so miserably, maybe it was time to change tactics. “If you don’t make love to me right now, I’ll go find someone who will.”

  Josh spun around. Emotions flickered across his face too quickly to decipher them all. But Channie recognized shock, fear and anger before his features settled into a look of betrayal so poignant it forced her to look away.

  “You don’t mean that.” Josh’s voice cracked.

  “I’ve never felt this...aroused before.” The thought of anyone but Josh touching her made Channie nauseous, but Josh didn’t know that. If she could make him jealous, maybe he’d give in. “I’ll bet at least one of those boys in the park will give me what I need.”

  Josh’s eyes widened then narrowed into slits. His nostrils flared as he clenched his fists. “Those are Eric’s friends. They aren’t rapists, but they are stoned out of their minds. If you come on to them while they’re loaded, they won’t stop.”

  Channie bolted for the window but Josh grabbed her around the waist and drug her across the hall into the bathroom. She writhed in his arms, but she was not trying to escape.

  He said, “If I let go of you, are you going to try to run away?”

  “No.”

  He sat on the edge of the bathtub and let her hands wander while he turned on the shower and removed first her shoes and then his own. She slid her hands under his shirt, lifting it to reveal the glorious sight of smooth skin stretched over sculpted muscle. He didn’t try to stop her from touching him, but he refused to let her remove his shirt.

  Josh took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds then let it out with a whoosh. He did it again then picked Channie up and carried her into the shower. The spray chilled her to the very marrow of her bones. She’d never been so cold in her life. The town of Louisville must get its water supply from a glacier.

  Josh’s teeth chattered. “Is this better?”

  “Yes.” She felt as if she were freezing to death, but at least she would die happy with Josh pressed intimately against her.

  He slid his hands between their bodies then grabbed Channie’s hips and pushed her away from him. She struggled to regain the lost contact. But he was too strong.

  “Please, Josh, don’t reject me. I can’t stand it.”

  “I’m not rejecting—”

  Channie lunged forward and grabbed the waistband of Josh’s jeans. He slipped and fell backwards—dreamlike and in slow motion. She tried to catch him, but she was part of the same nightmare, moving at the same torturously slow speed. She watched in horror as his arms windmilled, trying to find purchase on the slick yellow tiles. She cast a suspension spell. It slowed his descent, but it didn’t have time to take full effect. The back of his skull smacked the edge of the bathtub with a horrifying crack.

  Fear and shame accomplished what the cold water could not. The last ember of lust expired when Josh’s eyes rolled into the back of his head.

  Channie shut off the shower then slid behind him and cradled his bleeding head against her shoulder. She examined his injuries as blood circled the drain.

  Her magical scan revealed a mild concussion but no broken bones. Her visual scan revealed a four-inch gash in his scalp. When she turned his head to the side to get a better look, the edges of the wound parted in a grotesque smile.

  He continued to bleed profusely but it was his convulsive shaking and the blue tint of his lips and fingernails that worried her the most. Channie knew she needed to get him warm, but she was too weak from casting the suspension spell to move him, much less lift him from the tub.

  “Channie?”

  “I’m here, Josh.”

  “What happened?”

  “You slipped and hit your head.” That wasn’t exactly the whole story, but if Josh didn’t remember her trying to tackle him, she didn’t see any reason to remind him...except he deserved to know the truth and she deserved to suffer the consequences. “It was my fault. I got carried away and—”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Why wasn’t he mad at her? Josh had felt just as lusty as she had. It wasn’t just tonight either, Josh felt this way a lot, but he never let it control him. He tested the boundaries every chance he got, but he’d never tried to force her.

  Channie vowed to never let magic control her again. “We need to get you warmed up and take care of this cut on the back of your head. Can you sit up?”

  “I think so.” Josh gripped the built-in soap-dish with one hand and the side of the bathtub with the other. He struggled to pull himself into a sitting position then probed the cut on the back of his head with trembling fingers.

  “How bad is it? Do I need stitches?”

  “I can fix it. If you don’t mind a scar.”

  “Will it hurt?”

  “Not if I cast a pain-away spell first.”

  “You can stop pain?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “It feels like someone is pounding my s
kull with a sledge-hammer.”

  “I’m not a healer. I won’t mess with your brain.”

  “Too late. What was that all about anyway?”

  “When I made your shield stronger, I guess it also made it’s power over me stronger too. I’ve never felt so out of control in my life.”

  As soon as he was strong enough to stand, Channie helped Josh back to her room, wrapped a blanket around him and sat him down on her bed. He twisted his body sideways, so his shoulders were perpendicular to hers.

  “It’s okay, Josh. I’m not going to assault you. At least, not while you’re injured.”

  He lifted a corner of his mouth into a half-grin then lowered his gaze to the floor.

  She said, “I’m just going to go get the medicine kit and a couple of towels out of the hall closet. I’ll be right back.”

  When she returned to her room, Josh was sitting on the floor instead of her bed. She didn’t blame him for not trusting her. Not after the way she’d practically tried to rape him. She knelt down in front of him and opened the box containing Momma’s tinctures, salves and dried herbs—all of them magically enhanced.

  Josh wrinkled his nose and furrowed his brow. “What is that stuff?”

  “Medicine.”

  “It looks like dead weeds mixed with Vaseline, and it stinks.”

  “It also works.” Channie cast a pain-away spell to numb Josh’s scalp, cleaned his wound and then sealed it with magic.

  “Wow.” Josh poked at the back of his head. “That’s amazing.”

  Channie gently slapped his hand away. “Leave it alone until it’s done healing.”

  “Sorry.” A violent shiver racked Josh’s body.

  Channie said, “We need to get you out of those wet clothes.”

  Josh’s eyes went wide. He wrapped the blanket more tightly around his body and hugged his knees to his chest.

  “I’m okay.”

  Channie wanted to assure him that she wasn’t trying to seduce him, but she wasn’t a hundred percent sure it was the truth.

  She got Daddy’s robe, Momma’s wedding quilt, and a couple more clean towels then went back to her room. She set everything down next to Josh and said, “I’ll be in the hall if you need anything.”

  Channie pulled the door closed behind her then leaned against it and slid to the floor. She buried her face in her hands but couldn’t hide from the glare of her shame that probed the darkest corners of her soul like a searchlight.

  When Josh opened the door, Channie fell backwards against his bare legs and had to claw the carpet to keep from tackling him. The heat of her lust dried her tears, but Channie refused to give in to her carnal desires. If Josh could control himself, well then, so could she.

  He said, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you...okay?”

  The sight of Josh standing there in nothing but a robe was too much temptation. Channie closed her eyes and turned away from him, trying to rein in Chastity’s energy.

  He put his hand on her shoulder, making her tremble, and said, “You must be freezing. We better get you out of these wet clothes.”

  She slid away from his touch and said, “Don’t say things like that unless you...unless...just don’t.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I.”

  Channie yanked her two middle drawers open, grabbed the first things she touched and bolted for the bathroom.

  She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and groaned—she looked like a cave-woman. Wet strands of tangled hair clung to her face and blood-stained sweatshirt. Her red-rimmed eyes had a wild, desperate look to them. No wonder Josh was afraid of her.

  Channie used a little magic to detangle her hair and changed into dry clothes. She cleaned the bloody mess in the tub and on the floor as tears continued to stream down her face.

  She still wanted to make love to Josh, but it was different now. She wanted to hold him in her arms and feel his heart beating next to hers. She wanted to comfort him the way he comforted her. She wanted to be as close as two people could be.

  She rinsed the bloody cleaning rag under the bath tap and wrung it out over the drain.

  Maybe it wasn’t too late...if she could convince Josh that she’d changed her mind without being under the influence of magic. But the second she got close to him, his shield would turn her into a selfish, sex-crazed whore that didn’t care how much she upset him as long as she got her way.

  Channie gave the rag an angry twist then slammed it against the side of the bathtub. It made a loud, but unsatisfying, splat when it hit the porcelain. She turned around and slid to the floor, slumping against the side of the tub.

  Any attempt at intimacy would unleash the monster inside her as long as she was under this evil curse. Unless …

  Channie looked in the cabinet under the sink to be sure she had plenty of sanitary supplies then cast a moon-curse on herself.

  Within minutes she was on the floor curled into a ball of agony. She considered using magic to ease the cramps, but was afraid that without the distraction of the pain, she might still be vulnerable to the seductive power of Josh’s shield.

  “Channie?” Josh knocked on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”

  She crawled to her knees then pushed herself into a sitting position, her back against the side of the bathtub. “Yes. Come on in.”

  The door creaked open. Josh held the edges of his robe together with one hand as he knelt on the floor in front of her and filled her with the warmth of his compassion. It felt so good to be close to him without Chastity’s craziness trying to take over. Enchantment soaked up his energy and returned it back to him full of love and passion.

  Josh reached for her as if he were going to stroke her cheek, but changed his mind and put his hand on his knee. “What’s wrong, baby?”

  “I fixed it so I won’t be tempted to...do bad things whenever I’m near you.”

  “How?”

  Channie’s face felt as if it were on fire. Her reluctance to discuss her monthly cycle with Josh was a little ridiculous after the way she’d begged him for sex. But she couldn’t help it.

  “I used a moon-curse on myself.”

  The color drained from his cheeks as he gently placed his hand on the side of Channie’s head. “What’s a moon-curse?”

  Back home, women didn’t talk about their monthly cycles in front of men. It was different here. Channie was shocked the first time she’d overheard some boys at school complaining about how bitchy their girlfriends were when they were “on the rag.”

  “It’s what I’ve been doing to the other girls when they get out of control.”

  “You made yourself start your period?”

  Channie ducked her chin and nodded her head. She’d never explained how the moon-curse worked and Josh had never asked her. But he wasn’t stupid. A single tear slipped out of the corner of her eye.

  “Oh, baby, that can’t be good for you.”

  His heart-felt concern and lack of embarrassment made the situation a little less humiliating.

  She said, “It’s worth it. Now we can cuddle and fall asleep without worrying about me getting out of control.”

  He slipped one arm around her back and the other under her knees then stood up effortlessly, as if she didn’t weigh anything at all, and carried her back into her room. Channie clung to him as he turned back the covers then let her arms slide off his shoulders as he laid her gently on the bed.

  Josh pulled the blankets up under her chin and chewed the corner of his lower lip for a few seconds then perched on the edge of her bed.

  Channie put a hand on Josh’s back, his muscles were knotted and hard across his shoulder blade. She tried to rub the kinks out, but without success. “Don’t you want to get under the covers?”

  “Yeah. But you aren’t the only one with self-control issues.”

  Josh got up and smoothed out the blankets. He clutched his robe securely around his body and laid down on top of the covers. He patted his chest
and said, “Come here.”

  Channie laid her head over his heart and closed her eyes.

  Josh kissed her cheek...and screamed.

  “Josh! What happened?”

  “My mouth.” He touched his lips and grimaced.

  “What’s wrong with your mouth?”

  “It feels like I kissed the inside of an oven. Did I burn you?”

  “No, not at all.”

  Channie sat up and took Josh’s hand but he jerked it out of her grasp before she could lift it to her lips.

  “I need to see if I have the same reaction.”

  He said, “I hate hurting you,” but offered her his hand.

  The instant her lips brushed his skin, a white-hot pain seared her mouth. She jerked her head back and screamed. It felt as if she’d pressed a glowing coal against her lips. When she recovered enough to speak, Channie said, “I must not be strong enough to make your shield a hundred percent effective.”

  “Why don’t you recharge your batteries and then try again?”

  “What if I make your shield too strong? It’s hard enough resisting you as it is.” Channie wished she could talk to Aunt Wisdom. She’d know what to do.

  Josh took both her hands in his. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I say we try again.”

  Aunt Wisdom wasn’t the only source of knowledge. Channie wasn’t supposed to touch Momma’s books, much less use them, until she was eighteen, but she was already more powerful than Momma and Daddy combined. It was stupid not to take advantage of such a valuable resource just because of some silly rule. “Alright, but I want to do a little research first.”

  Channie said, “Come on,” then took Josh’s hand in hers and led him down the hall into Momma and Daddy’s room.

  “What are we doing in here?”

  “Momma keeps her spell books in that trunk under the window.”

  The trunk was covered with an array of Momma’s medicinal plants. Channie didn’t detect any magic, but it wasn’t like Momma to leave her things unprotected. Channie didn’t think Momma would ask the neighbors to keep an eye on the house, but just in case, she lit a candle instead of switching on the overhead light. “Wait here while I make sure it’s safe.”